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GAME REVIEW: Old World Blues (Fallout New Vegas DLC-PC)

I finally finished the latest downloadable expansion to New Vegas. OH NO! NOT ANOTHER ABORTION FIST/FALLOUT POST!

Like everyone else, I say New Vegas doesn't live up to reborn reputation that Fallout 3 established. However, if there's one thing NV has done a better job with, it's the DLC. If you haven't bothered to check out any of the add-ons well, honestly I don't blame you for writing them off before trying. But I'm here to tell you you're missing out: Old World Blues is one of the best ones across both Fallout 3 and New Vegas.

My favorite part of the NV DLC stuff is that rather than each being a separate little side quest, all 4 New Vegas add-ons are tied together by a major underlying story that's hinted at throughout the New Vegas universe. They are all building up to a grand showdown between your character, the courier, and another mysterious doppelganger courier that everyone seems to fear. It's almost as if the main conflict between the NCR and Caesar's legion over the fate of New Vegas was just the appetizer to the real purpose of your character.

Old World Blues is the 3rd installment, the latest one before that final confrontation. You're mysteriously transported by a crashed satellite to the Big Empty, a giant experiment facility that was researching cybernetic and genetic weapons before the nukes hit and ended the world. You awaken to find that your brain, spine and heart have all been removed by the remaining scientists of the facility and it's up to you to get your parts back. Oh and those scientists are just brains transplanted into floating TV robots.

This sets up the mood of the entire OWB campaign. It's "ridic!" as that dipshit coworker worker of yours would say just like they did when they captioned that facebook pic of a slightly oversized sandwich they ate at an obscure restaurant. This quest has some of the most entertaining and clever writing I've seen in a game (ironically after my latest top 10 that argued games suck at writing) with equally entertaining characters.

This gun is called the K9000. It's a fully automatic machine gun that fires .357 magnum rounds. It's also powered by a dog's brain and barks at enemies.

It turns out the Big Empty wasn't inhabited by the world's most intelligent, ambitious minds as advertised. Instead it was run by retards who read too much science fiction and make up words like "transportalponder". Throughout the story you'll learn the origin of many of the creatures and weapons you encounter in New Vegas while you battle stupidly/appropriately named creations like the robo-scorpions, start up a love triangle with a pair of light switches, talk to toasters hell bent on the world's destruction (not knowing it already came), and watch robot scientists ejaculate drained microfusion cells into your inventory. I swear I didn't make any of that up.

The Big Empty is also one of the most unique looking environments in the Fallout Universe with giant, inexplicable science-y looking structures that appear to have been built by idiots with no purpose other than to look advanced and science-y. It's inhabited by braindead lobotomites, cyborg dogs and my new personal favorite enemy, the Y-17 trauma override harnesses. These enemies are failed test subjects trapped inside a special suit designed to take over a soldier's body movement and evacuate them from the battlefield when injured. They're literally walking corpses stuck in malfunctioning space suits.

When I evaluate DLC for Fallout, I look at 2 things: The gameplay experience itself and how useful it will be to the main Fallout campaign. Fallout 3's first expansion, Operation Anchorage, was a total bore but at least it hooked you up with a very useful Stealth Suit. The Sierra Madre was fun to explore in Dead Money but there were no real useful items to gain and you could never return after it was finished. Old World Blues on the other hand, was not only entertaining to play through, but it also allows you to return whenever you want to utilize the many useful facilities including one that gives you the ability to make unlimited skill books. All of this on top of the 5 level raise to your cap.

This is not only one of Fallout's best add-ons, rivaling Fallout 3's Broken Steel, it's one of the best add-ons I've played for any game. If you're a Fallout fan, it's essential. If you're on the ropes, get it when it goes down in price or wait for an all inclusive package but get it eventually. If you're not a Fallout fan...

Abortion Fist

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